JULY 29, 2020

What started as a spontaneous, little creative endeavor back in March (a la my monthly bedroom gallery initiative) has slowly evolved to become my most recent passion project - mixed media oil + pressed flower collages. These latest explorations are the culmination of my artistic efforts over the last several months - bringing together all of the mediums I’ve tinkered with - pencil, oil, tape, pressed flowers - together into one composition.

What’s been just as rewarding as the final outcomes (if not more) is the process behind each of these pieces - both individually as I’ve worked through each one, but also collectively, as the entire series evolved and came to be - subtly, slowly, yet inherently integrating all of my approaches over the course of the last several months. It truly makes these explorations feel that much more special and rewarding for me - unlike any other that I’ve really done since my time in architecture school, when working with my hands was part of my everyday (aside from my handmade cards). From sketching, painting, tracing, cutting, gluing, assembling, folding, tearing, blending - but also from investing thought, time, and energy into an initiative that gradually builds upon itself and emerges into something with the most beautiful, rich, deep implications intrinsically tying it together - the “thesis” or “purpose” of your project.

In this instance with my oil + flower collages, I’m not entirely sure of an overarching intention that was fueling the process to start. (I truly have tried to break personal barriers with having structure and linearity no longer dictate my design decisions here - rather, leaning more in to impulse, intuition and self to (finally) inspire my actions). There was no design problem to solve - instead, just wide-open and free territory (and time) to challenge myself to reconnect back to handmade art. Once the initial discomfort dissolved, I was able to find a steady rhythm with my work, slowly becoming more and more comfortable to break "rules" and consider alternate techniques, materials, lines, combinations, placements (and more). In its own magical way, my process emerged to intuitively inform each step. All I had to do was trust it. Recognizing this now, I realize it all sounds so simple - “just trust the process”. But boy, has it been a journey for me. (Reflecting back now on school, I can finally understand where all of my professors were coming from when they spoke about those preliminarily, intuitive study models at the start of each project - “doing over thinking”) (If I had this realization back when I was still at WIT, how many all-nighters do we think I could have saved myself from? 🤔) 😪 *sigh* I guess better late than never.

What’s more about this latest work, is tuning in and recognizing how good it all inherently feels. How much satisfaction it brings me. How much I find myself getting lost in the process. It is flow state for me, in every way. And this I know to be good. And right. So I’ll continue to follow it - losing track of time and thought as I slip in and let my intuition inform what I should do next. Continuing to be gentle with myself along the way as I work to break down those (incessant) barriers of perfectionism. I know I’ve made progress and I am PROUD friends (!!!) So here’s to many more oil-pressed-flower-mixed-media-collages. I’ll keep on keeping on here, until this evolves once more or eventually loses its luster. And I’ll continue sharing progress as it develops - because aside from accountability, I am finding true content from putting this work out into the world. Maybe because I was paralyzed for so long out of fear of rejection and criticism and think I’ve *finally* broken past that barrier (or at least, am not letting it consume me anymore) - or maybe because in some way or another I realize by me sharing this work I may be inspiring others to do the same, in some shape or form. Either way, it truly feels good to be sharing, so I will continue to do so. I hope that you will continue following along ❣️

And so with all of that, here's what July's bedroom gallery looks like: